How to handle “I was sick” when you don't believe them like a leader, not a manager

October 12, 2026

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The Thought

Did you know… suspicion isn't proof.

When someone calls out sick and you don't believe them, it's easy to let frustration turn into an accusation.

Leaders don't make decisions based on assumptions.

They focus on facts, patterns, and what they can actually address.

Quote:
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” – Stephen R. Covey

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The Tip

Remember to…

1. Stop being an illness detective

A manager says:

“Come on, I know you weren't sick. Just be honest.”

A leader says:

“I'm not going to guess whether you were sick or not. I'm going to focus on what I actually know.”

Then ask:

Can you walk me through what happened from your perspective?
Is there anything about the situation you'd like me to understand?

Suspicion isn't evidence.

Don't turn an attendance conversation into an interrogation based on a feeling.

Start with curiosity, not accusations.

2. Coach the pattern, not one sick day

A manager says:

“This is becoming ridiculous.”

A leader says:

“I'm not concerned about one absence. I'm concerned about the pattern I'm starting to see.”

Then ask:

Do you see the same pattern I'm seeing?
What can we do to address any ongoing attendance concerns?

One sick day and a repeated pattern of attendance issues are two different conversations.

Don't make someone defend being sick.

Focus on the attendance expectations and any patterns that genuinely need to be addressed.

3. Address dishonesty only when you have evidence

A manager says:

“I saw pictures online. I know you were lying.”

A leader says:

“I saw something that didn't line up with what I understood, and I want to give you a chance to explain it.”

Then ask:

Can you help me understand the difference between what you shared and what I'm seeing?
Is there additional context I'm missing?

Think about a puzzle.

One photo is just one piece.

Don't assume you have the entire picture.

Bring the facts, give them an opportunity to respond, and follow the appropriate policies before drawing conclusions.

Managers try to catch people lying.

Leaders stick to facts, address patterns, and only make accusations when the evidence supports them.

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The Tool

Short Video: Learn how leaders handle “I was sick” when they have doubts without turning the conversation into an interrogation.

See how to separate suspicion from facts, address attendance patterns, and handle potential dishonesty without making assumptions.

Watch the viral video on TikTok

Watch this video & read the post on LinkedIn

Watch this video on Instagram

Watch this video on Facebook

Or watch other CLA videos here on YouTube

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❓ What's something you've hesitated to bring up at work but wish we could talk about?

❓ What's held you back from discussing it?

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___________________________

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Thank you for leading and lifting others out there!

-Dwight

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