How to lead someone who always blames the circumstances like a leader, not a manager

June 22, 2026

It’s Tactical Tuesday!

Here is the Thought, Tip, and Tool of the week...need Leadership 101 tools? Start here.

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The Thought

Did you know… the highest performers don't have fewer problems than everyone else. They simply spend less time focused on what they can't control.

When someone constantly blames circumstances, growth stalls because responsibility gets outsourced.

Leaders don't waste time arguing excuses.

They help people focus on what they can control.

Quote:
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response." – Viktor Frankl

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The Tip

Remember to…

1. Stop debating the excuse

A manager says:

"That's not a valid excuse."

A leader says:

"Those circumstances are real. Let's focus on what was still within your control."

Then ask:

What part of this situation was within your influence?
What could have been handled differently despite the circumstances?

One of my favorite exercises is creating two columns:

Within My Control
Outside My Control

Then focus all your energy on the first column.

Ownership grows when people stop seeing circumstances as the end of the conversation.

2. Look for the pattern underneath the explanation

A manager gets frustrated:

"There's always something with you."

A leader creates awareness:

"I'm noticing that our conversations often focus on the circumstance more than your response to it."

Then ask:

What pattern do you think is showing up here?
Where might accountability be getting lost?

We're not attacking their character.

We're helping them see what they may not see themselves.

Awareness always comes before change.

3. Shift the conversation to future choices

A manager says:

"You need to stop making excuses."

A leader says:

"Let's focus on what you want to do differently moving forward."

Then ask:

What's one thing you'll do differently next time?
What would taking full ownership look like here?
What adjustment will create a different outcome?

Ownership comes from action—not explanation.

Leaders acknowledge the circumstance.

Then they redirect the conversation toward responsibility, growth, and future action.

Managers get stuck arguing the excuse.

Leaders coach ownership.

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The Tool

Short Video: Learn how leaders coach accountability without arguing excuses or creating defensiveness.

See how to shift the conversation from blame and circumstances to ownership, responsibility, and growth.

Watch the viral video on TikTok

Watch this video & read the post on LinkedIn

Watch this video on Instagram

Watch this video on Facebook

Or watch other CLA videos here on YouTube

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Leadership Question of the week…

Here is the top question this week from our 200+ Leadership Questions (part of our Complete Leader Package. Don’t have these? Get instant access here.

❓When do you feel most empowered at work?

❓How do we help each other take more initiative and ownership?

❓What tools or support would make the biggest difference?

___________________________

Activity of the week…

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These tools, talk-tracks, tips, activities and questions will make your leadership work easier in 2026!

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Thank you for leading and lifting others out there!

-Dwight

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