How to coach someone who hates you like a leader, not a manager

August 10, 2026

It’s Tactical Tuesday!

Here is the Thought, Tip, and Tool of the week...need Leadership 101 tools? Start here.

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Team Activity Cards only $30! (Usually $47). Grab your physical box now. Use code: ACTIVITY30 (we overstocked and need to make space in the warehouse)

Introducing the If THIS, Then THAT Cards for Leaders. 52 leadership decision prompts to help you stop reacting and start leading the right conversation every time. 40% off launch special extended. Get them here. Use code LEADER10 for an extra 10% off - limited time. These are on pre-order, but you’ll receive a digital version instantly. I’ll send the physical cards out asap!

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The Thought

Did you know… leadership doesn't require everyone to like you.

But it does require people to know what they can expect from you.

Leaders don't chase approval.

They build trust through consistency.

Quote:
“Trust is built with consistency.” – Lincoln Chafee

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The Tip

1. Stop trying to win them over

A manager says:

“What can I do to get you to like me?”

A leader says:

“My job isn't to earn your approval. My job is to help you succeed.”

Then ask:

How can I best support your success?
What do you need from me to do your best work?

The moment you start chasing approval, you risk losing leadership influence.

You don't need everyone to like you.

You need them to know you're committed to helping them succeed.

2. Become predictable

A manager says:

“I'm just trying to help.”

A leader says:

“Whether we're having an easy conversation or a tough one, you're going to get the same respect, honesty, and consistency from me.”

Then ask:

What can you consistently expect from me as your leader?
What would help us work together more effectively?

People may not like every decision you make.

But they can learn to trust your consistency.

Trust grows when your leadership doesn't change based on the temperature in the room.

3. Coach their future, not your relationship

A manager says:

“Why don't you like me?”

A leader says:

“Let's put our relationship aside for a moment and focus on what's going to help you grow.”

Then ask:

What's one skill or area you'd like to grow over the next month?
How can I help you make progress?

You don't have to fix the relationship before you can coach the person.

Make growth the shared goal.

Managers spend their energy trying to be liked.

Leaders spend their energy helping people grow, and respect often follows.

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The Tool

Short Video: Learn how leaders coach someone who doesn't like them without chasing approval or avoiding difficult conversations.

See how consistency, trust, and a shared focus on growth can make the relationship more productive.

Watch the viral video on TikTok

Watch this video & read the post on LinkedIn

Watch this video on Instagram

Watch this video on Facebook

Or watch other CLA videos here on YouTube

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Leadership Question of the week…

Here is the top question this week from our 200+ Leadership Questions (part of our Complete Leader Package. Don’t have these? Get instant access here.

❓Have you ever hesitated to speak up around the team? Why?

❓How do we make sure every idea gets heard?

❓What’s one way to create an environment where everybody wants to share?

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Activity of the week…

Here is the top activity this week from our 52 Team Meeting Activity Cards. Don’t have these download? Limited time offer: Only $30 (usually $47). Use code: ACTIVITY30

Get your physical box of cards here

Check out my Team Meeting Activities Playlist here

Want more? Instantly download these ready-to-use tools.

Spark dialogue with your team.

Ignite engagement.

These tools, talk-tracks, tips, activities and questions will make your leadership work easier in 2026!

-> New Release: From Manager to Leader: An Audio Compilation of 100+ Manager vs. Leader Videos. 16 chapters. 3.5–4.5 hours. 100+ leadership videos organized by topic. Perfect for your commute, workout, or before your next difficult conversation. Launch Special! Get your copy here →

Spark better decisions before the conversation even starts. Stop reacting in tough moments. These tools, decision prompts, and conversation frameworks will make your leadership conversations clearer and more confident in 2026. Pre-Order your 52 IF THIS, Then THAT Cards w/ Box. Physical box ships mid-late March. Digital version available instantly. Order today and stop guessing in hard conversations. Limited time launch pricing available here.

-> Order your 52 Say THIS, Not THAT Cards w Box. Simple Manager vs. Leader language shifts to start speaking like a leader, not a manager. Order now and receive your physical box shortly (ships in days). Digital version available instantly. Order today and start shifting your language from manager to leader! Limited time launch discount when you order here!

-> Get instant access to the most popular Complete Leader Package - the Ultimate Leader Toolkit with EVERYTHING included. Leaders love having over 200 questions for 1:1s, team meetings, and leadership meetings.

Plus, 52 team meeting activity cards so you’ll never have to plan another activity again! 52 Say THIS, Not THAT cards, 52 Leadership Skills Program, Leader Playbook, and more. Get everything with the Complete Leader Package.

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-> New leader? Grab the NEW LEADER Bundle here and get both the Complete Leader Package and Activity Cards Box, plus a bonus program: 52 Leadership Skills to unlock your leadership potential this year. Use IGNITEIT20 for 20% off as a special thank you. Learn more.

Thank you for leading and lifting others out there!

-Dwight

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