How to address the person everyone complains about like a leader, not a manager

August 3, 2026

It’s Tactical Tuesday!

Here is the Thought, Tip, and Tool of the week...need Leadership 101 tools? Start here.

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The Thought

Did you know… people rarely change because someone tells them they're the problem.

They change when they clearly understand the impact of their behavior.

Leaders don't coach opinions.

They coach observable behaviors.

Quote:
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." – Ken Blanchard

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The Tip

Remember to…

1. Focus on patterns, not opinions

A manager says:

"Everyone's complaining about you."

A leader says:

"I've noticed a pattern that's starting to affect the team, and I'd like to share what I've observed."

One of my favorite tools is the SBI Model (Center for Creative Leadership):

Situation
When did it happen?

Behavior
What did you observe?

Impact
How did it affect others?

Then ask:

Can I share a few examples that I've noticed?
What are your thoughts on what I've observed?

Facts create clarity.

Opinions create defensiveness.

2. Build awareness around the impact

A manager says:

"People don't like working with you."

A leader says:

"I don't think this is your intention, but here's the impact these behaviors are having."

Then ask:

How do you think others experience working with you?
What impact do you think this has on the team?

People are far more likely to change when they understand their impact than when they feel attacked.

Feedback shouldn't be reserved for difficult moments.

It should become part of your team's culture.

3. Co-create the path forward

A manager says:

"You need to fix this."

A leader says:

"Let's identify one or two behaviors that would make the biggest difference moving forward."

Then ask:

What's one behavior you're willing to focus on over the next two weeks?
What support would help you be successful?
How will we know you're making progress?

Think about the alignment on your car.

When it's off, you don't replace the car.

You make a small adjustment so it gets back on track.

Managers react to complaints.

Leaders create awareness, build a plan, and help people write their comeback story.

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The Tool

Short Video: Learn how leaders address difficult team dynamics without becoming the messenger for everyone else's complaints.

See how to use the SBI Model to create awareness, reduce defensiveness, and build a clear path forward.

Watch the viral video on TikTok

Watch this video & read the post on LinkedIn

Watch this video on Instagram

Watch this video on Facebook

Or watch other CLA videos here on YouTube

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Leadership Question of the week…

Here is the top question this week from our 200+ Leadership Questions (part of our Complete Leader Package. Don’t have these? Get instant access here.

❓How do you feel your contributions are making an impact on the team?

❓How effective are we at recognizing each other?

❓What’s one thing we could do to ensure everyone feels valued?

___________________________

Activity of the week…

Here is the top activity this week from our 52 Team Meeting Activity Cards. Don’t have these download? Limited time offer: Only $30 (usually $47). Use code: ACTIVITY30

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Check out my Team Meeting Activities Playlist here

Want more? Instantly download these ready-to-use tools.

Spark dialogue with your team.

Ignite engagement.

These tools, talk-tracks, tips, activities and questions will make your leadership work easier in 2026!

-> New Release: From Manager to Leader: An Audio Compilation of 100+ Manager vs. Leader Videos. 16 chapters. 3.5–4.5 hours. 100+ leadership videos organized by topic. Perfect for your commute, workout, or before your next difficult conversation. Launch Special! Get your copy here →

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Thank you for leading and lifting others out there!

-Dwight

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