How to address attitude without breaking trust like a leader, not a manager

It’s Tactical Tuesday!

Here is the Thought, Tip, and Tool of the week...need Leadership 101 tools? Start here.

(Launched this month!) Introducing the MANAGER vs. LEADER Say THIS, Not THAT Cards for Leaders. 52 leadership language shifts to help you stop managing tasks, and start leading people. 50% off launch special this week. Pre-order them here. Use code LEADER10 for an extra 10% off. OVER 200 already sold!!

___________________________

The Thought

Did you know... Attitude issues are rarely about attitude alone. According to research from Yale, 70% of “negative behavior” at work is tied to unmet needs, unspoken concerns, or emotional disconnection.
Leaders don’t attack the attitude — they uncover what’s behind it.

Quote: “You can’t change what you attack, but you can change what you understand.” – Unknown

___________________________

The Tip

Remember to…

1. Lead with observation, not accusation

Attitude shifts are symptoms - not identity flaws.
Starting with accusation (“You’re negative,” “You have a bad attitude”) triggers defensiveness and shuts down dialogue.

Start with what you see, not what you think:

  • “I’ve noticed a shift in your tone and energy recently.”
  • “Can we talk about what’s been feeling different for you lately?”

This lowers the temperature, invites honesty, and protects trust.

2. Separate emotion from impact

Frustration shouldn’t drive the conversation — curiosity should.

Use questions that create awareness instead of blame:

  • “When you said that in the meeting, what were you hoping to accomplish?”
  • “I know that wasn’t your intent, but here’s how it landed for others.”

Intent = What they meant
Impact = How it was received

Helping them see the gap builds emotional intelligence and ownership without shaming them.

3. Reconnect them to purpose before performance

Attitude problems often appear when people disconnect from their purpose.
Before correcting the behavior, remind them why they matter

  • “Here’s why your role is important to this team.”
  • “Here’s the impact you’ve made when you’re at your best.”
  • “Let’s work together to get that spark back.”

Managers try to correct the tone.
Leaders restore the connection behind it.

___________________________

The Tool

Short Video: 

Learn how to address attitude without breaking trust.
See the full 3-step framework in action — observation → awareness → purpose — and learn exactly what to say to shift behavior with clarity and care.

Watch the viral video on TikTok

Watch this video & read the post on LinkedIn

Or watch other CLA videos here: YouTube, Facebook, Instagram

___________________________

Leadership Question of the week…

Here is the top question this week from our 200+ Leadership Questions (part of our Complete Leader Package. Don’t have these? Get instant access here.

❓How do you set goals that push you, but also feel achievable? 

❓What tools or strategies do you use to track your progress and adjust as needed?

❓What can I do to help you hit (or even exceed) those goals?

 

Activity of the week…

Here is the top activity this week from our 52 Team Meeting Activity Cards. Don’t have these download? Get your physical copy here OR a printable version as part of the Complete Leader Package.

Check out my Team Meeting Activities Playlist here

 

Want more? Instantly download these ready-to-use tools. 

Spark dialogue with your team.

Ignite engagement.

These tools, talk-tracks, tips, activities and questions will make your leadership work easier in 2025!

-> Order your 52 Say THIS, Not THAT Cards w Box. Simple Manager vs. Leader language shifts to start speaking like a leader, not a manager. Pre-order now available for the physical box. Digital version available instantly. Order today and start shifting your language from manager to leader! Limited time launch discount when you order here!

-> Get instant access to the most popular Complete Leader Package - the Ultimate Leader Toolkit with EVERYTHING included. Leaders love having over 200 questions for 1:1s, team meetings, and leadership meetings.

Plus, 52 team meeting activity cards so you’ll never have to plan another activity again! 52 Say THIS, Not THAT cards, 52 Leadership Skills Program, Leader Playbook, and more. Get everything with the Complete Leader Package.

-> Want just the team meeting activity cards in a box? Order them now - ships immediately. Limited available. Order now!

-> New leader? Grab the NEW LEADER Bundle here and get both the Complete Leader Package and Activity Cards Box, plus a bonus program: 52 Leadership Skills to unlock your leadership potential this year. Use IGNITEIT20 for 20% off as a special thank you. Learn more.

Thank you for leading like a coach out there!

-Dwight

 

P.S. Want to share this Tactical Tuesday newsletter via text, social, or email? Simply copy and paste this link: https://completeleadershipacademy.com/blogs/tactical-tuesday/how-to-address-attitude-without-breaking-trust-like-a-leader-not-a-manager

 

How can we support your leadership journey?

Thank you for leading out there and making an impact. We’re here to help when the time comes.

MANAGER vs. LEADER Say THIS, Not THAT Cards for Leaders | COMPLETE NEW LEADER Bundle | COMPLETE LEADER Package | COMPLETE LEADER Activity Cards | Speaking | Develop Your Leaders (Workshops)

Website - TikTok - YouTube - Instagram 

Back to blog

Leave a comment