I was in a band once.
We had a great time performing and writing songs together. But the good times on stage and with friends is not what I remember most about that time.
What I remember most is a very simple lesson from one of my band mates that sticks with me to this day.
We were recording an album and I asked him about hitting the gym. He said, “I made a decision that working out is not a priority. I need to hang out with my son instead.” It was very clear he had made a choice about what to do with his limited resource— time.
This was before I had kids. I had just finished my 32nd day of InsanityMax30 and I was a little puzzled by his decision to just cut out gym time.
I was feeling incredible in my own choices- working out, eating healthy, putting my body first. And to be honest, I was judging him hard!
But as I reflected on that conversation over the years, and especially after having kids and starting my own “dad” journey, I realized how wrong I was.
We only have so much time. We hear this all the time, but sometimes we need to hear it again.
With our limited time we have to make very clear choices. What will we do with it? What do we prioritize? Where are we going in life and is our decision about time, aligned with that path?
My friend—with just a few words and probably without knowing it—taught me one of the best lessons ever: choose how you want to spend your precious time.
He made great choices with his time. Today, he’s the CEO of a very successful startup and he has an incredible family. Why? Because he learned to say no to the things that came second. They might have mattered to everyone else, but he realized early on what he wouldn't have time for, and without hesitation he said no to those things. He focused on what mattered, what he knew he would have time for, and he shut down everything else— regardless of what others thought.
So what can I learn?
I need to say no to some things and be 100% ok with that.
I need to be clear on what really matters to me and to the people I care about so that I know how to prioritize.
I need to let go of the person I'm NOT, so I can fully invest and embrace who I am and who I'm going to be.
I need to remember that my priorities right now are not everyone else’s priorities, and they may not be my priorities later, so I should never judge someone else on their priorities, or be too hard on myself when mine change.
We have the power to shape our destiny, so let’s go out there and make it happen.