This cow yelled at me yesterday and it taught me a valuable lesson.
I was about halfway through my run, coming up to one of my rest points, when out of the bushes came a cow. This is unusual to say the least. I’ve never seen or heard a cow in my neighborhood, so I was a bit shocked. But then she started yelling at me. Like, long sustained cries. Basically telling me “you need to back up or I’m going to charge!” I don’t even know what that would look like, so I slowed down and then backed off slowly.
Come to find out, the whole situation wasn’t about me at all. When I looked a little closer, I saw a calf behind the bushes. She was just protecting her kid. Then, as I stepped back even further, I realized that she had a whole herd of about 30 cows that were on the loose, and they had broken away from the herd. She was trying to find her way back while also protecting her calf from getting hurt or more lost.
I had no idea, and my first instinct was to judge her for yelling at me.
Many times we judge people's behavior based on what we hear in that moment or what we see right in front of us. We don’t necessarily look around for context. I know I don’t. We don’t look behind the bushes or step back to gain perspective to understand what’s really going on. We just judge that cow for its aggressive behavior.
But it wasn't aggression, it was protection, it was fear. After a few minutes I saw her lead her calf back to her family. They reunited and laid down together.
See, I was just in her path. She didn't know how to handle me, so she responded. For all I know she could have been asking me for directions. “How can I get back to my herd?” “I’m freaking out and I’m lost, have you seen my family?” But what I heard was, “you better step back or I'm coming for you.”
Meryl Streep, who I love, has an excellent quote here. She says, “The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy, we can all sense a mysterious connection to each other.” Even though this was an encounter with a cow, it was like we were connected in some way. Once I stepped back, I felt for her. I wanted the best for her and her entire family out there.
What can I learn here?
🔥 I need to take a beat. Instead of rushing to judgment or defensiveness, I need to look. Look for the full story.
🔥 Oftentimes it's not about me. Even though most of the time, that's all I see.
🔥 I may just be a small detour, a road block, when someone is trying to find their way home. Their world, their worries, are so much bigger than that interaction in that moment. If I can understand, or at least admit that I don’t fully understand, what they are going through, I can acknowledge that they are doing the best they can in that moment.
🔥 If I can give people the benefit of the doubt, I can approach the situation with compassion and empathy.
🔥 I may not always be able to help people, I may not be able to take them home, but at least I can remove myself as another roadblock on their journey. And, in doing so, I hope that I am earning the right to be treated in the same way.
🔥 When I don’t show up as my best. When I am caught up in my fears and not being completely understood, I hope others will show me the grace to help me get back to where I belong safely and without judgment.
The cow is a simple metaphor for how we see people along our journey. I hope to lead with understanding. Remove roadblocks, be the compass for others trying to find their way.